We have all heard the saying, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”, by President of the United States, Franklin Delano Roosevelt. However, and at some time or another, virtually all of us have scoffed at that quote, as the challenges we have experienced and the fears we have are not easy to overcome. Many of the fears we have are deep-seated and either paralyse us into avoidance, which can range from doing nothing to taking a lot of action to escape the situation. Regardless of the choice and in the final analysis, our fears have been holding us captive, resulting in us not living our fullest and best life.

 

1.  Accept You Are Human, You Are Fallible

As much as we might all acknowledge that we are human and that we experience fears and anxiety, often some semblance of denial is in the mix. That denial tends to arise because we have difficulty accepting that we are vulnerable, or possess vulnerabilities. However, it also means that when confronted by a challenging situation, we may respond in a way we do not understand, or which seems to contradict who we say we are, or what we say we stand for.

Truly accepting that you are human, that you are weak is a huge step for many; but it is also honest. Some of us might think that if we are successful, we will be sufficiently inoculated from difficulty, or we will have the tools to deal with adversity. However, that is not the case. Our problems change to fit our station in life, and so regardless of your physical or financial health, for example, you will still have problems that hone in on your fears and anxieties.

 

2. Learn More About Your Fear

One of the biggest challenges when we experience fear, is that we can easily find ourselves overwhelmed and emotional. However, more importantly, we don’t always know why we are afraid, or rather, what is the source of our fear. Instead, more often than not, we are just reacting to the situation.

Sometimes, it might dawn on us that our fear is irrational, but we don’t delve deeper. However, it is beneficial to try to learn more about what exactly is making you afraid and anxious, and how you and your body respond in these situations. A useful tool is journaling, to document your thoughts and feelings, as well as how your body reacts in different situations. Ideally, the exercise ought to be done for a few weeks or months at a minimum, to allow adequate time for patterns to emerge.

 

3. Feel The Pain

Fear, pain, and anxiety are emotions that we want to avoid, almost at all costs. Frequently, when we are beginning to feel them, there is the urge to shut them down, turn them off, or avoid them altogether.  However, when we do this, it might appear that we have escaped those feelings, only for them to return more intensely at a later date or situation, and take more effort to avoid.

Although it might seem counterintuitive, one of the best things you can do when feeling pain, fear or anxiety is to allow yourself to feel them. In doing so, it starts the process for you to accept that you are afraid or anxious and that you feel vulnerable.

 

4. Confront Your Fear

Frequently and in situations in which we are overwhelmed by fear, we have blown the fear out of proportion. The huge bogey man that we think Is out to get us is just part of the tree whose shadow we are seeing from our bed. The actual source of our fear might be just a pebble, but we see it as a boulder obstructing our path.

One of the reasons we avoid facing our fears is that we feel that we have something to lose. Almost paradoxically, we can be vested in having that fear, believing it to be true, and not wanting to dispute it. However, a strategy that we consider adopting is to welcome the negative feelings that instinctively we would like to avoid, and allow ourselves to go there. Almost always, we experience a breakthrough which can help us to better manage the situation and ourselves.

In summary and to be fair, fear is a protection mechanism that has saved mankind from all kinds of danger through the ages. However, most of the situations we face in this day and age, and in modern societies are not regarding physical danger, but instead are about the limiting thoughts that are holding us back. Through overcome our fears, we have an invaluable opportunity to become even more self-aware, and to be in a position to realise our full potential.

 

 

image: Quang Nguyen Vinh (Pexels)