We all know the saying, “Timing is everything”. Essentially, it mean that the success of an activity tends to be related to when it happens. So, one can increase the chances of success of a particular action or pursuit by taking into consideration the surrounding circumstances.  To that end, we can all attest to the wisdom of the saying, and may even have testaments of successes and failures for which the timing of their execution was a key factor.

Having said this, we can sometimes fall into the trap of wanting to wait until the ‘right moment’ or ‘perfect moment’ before we take certain actions. Although to some degree, this posture might be grounded in an appreciation of the importance of timing, when all is said and done, very little might be achieved.

 

Dreams… With Strings Attached

This article was inspired out of conversations that I have had with friends over the years who, for varying reasons, postponed doing something they have always wanted to do “until…”. Some examples of activities and conditions included:

• travelling to Europe, but wanting to do so with a spouse;  
• going on a cruise, but not wanting to go alone;  
• running a marathon, but “now and the past five years have not been a good time”;
• nearing 40 years old, divorced and desperately wanting to be a mother, but hoping that the next boyfriend will be “the one”.

In principle, the conditions attached to the above activities are not unreasonable. In fact, many of the activities might be considered ‘bucket list goals’, which increases the gravity and importance in one’s life. However, when does that desire to achieve that life’s dream trump the condition that initially had been attached?

 

Holding On To The Dream

At the time when we had set a particular goal or activity, we often envisaged it happening in a specific way. For example, we would travel around Europe for our honeymoon, or by 30, we would be happily married, looking to buy our first house, and pregnant by 32. However, life rarely unfolds how we wish. It thus becomes more important to play the hand we have been dealt.

Unfortunately, many of us are holding on to the dream – wanting what our dreams to play out in real life – but not truly considering our reality, and being prepared to work within that construct. In this the 21^st century, the world has not only evolved considerably, but the role, status and independence of women has also evolved from what it was 50 years ago. In a nutshell, there are fewer constraints and more options that can be considered… but are you prepared to do so?

 

An Excuse To Procrastinate

It is also important to acknowledge that in holding on to the desire for a certain goal to unfold in a particular way, can mean that you have a built-in excuse to not actively work towards achieving that goal. For example, Julia has been dying to go on a multi-port cruise, but does not want to travel solo. It is something she had not be able to realise with past romantic partners, but when it was suggested that she float the idea with her girlfriends or siblings to see whether they might interested, she hesitated.

The truth was that although Julia dreams of going on a cruise, she had not taken any steps to make it happen. One of the reasons it never happened during past relationships is that she had been hoping that her partner would have made all of the arrangements and would have paid (either partially or in full) for her to have that experience. So, in suggesting she go with family or friends, she would most likely have to cover all of her costs and take the lead in making the necessary arrangements. As a result, going on a cruise remains on Julia’s bucket list 12 years later.

 

Balancing Priorities… And Your Dreams

It is also important to highlight that this (exact) moment might not opportune to take a particular action or to have a particular experience. There may be other matters that ought to be given priority at this time. However, and although other matters currently may be more deserving of your time, attention and resources, where do your dreams fit?

All too often, and especially when we are in our 20s and 30s, we are likely to have some dreams: travel the world, start a business, have a garden, pursue a true passion, to name just a few. And although life happens – family, work, other responsibilities – these dreams/goals tend to fall by the wayside. And ironically, by the time the ‘right moment’ come along, sometimes we are just too old and tired to get started. We are thus resigned to the fact that although the window of opportunity now exists, we no longer have the wherewithal, which could be the energy and/or resources, to capitalise on it.

 

Being Purpose-driven And Intentional

The truth of the matter is that there is almost never a ‘perfect time’ to take an action or to work towards achieving a goal. Some moments of time may be better than others, but there are also no guarantee for how long the seemingly favourable conditions will last. Sometimes, you just have to take a chance, and trust that you have what it takes to overcome obstacles that might emerge.

Moreover, and as some the previously scenarios illustrated, it is crucial that you are clear about: what you want to achieve; why you want to achieve it; and perhaps most importantly, how wedded you are to the dream, or the way you envisaged a goal being realised. Frequently, we are wedded to the dream, because we are not allowing ourselves to think outside that box we have created. Further, and depending on the situation or activity, choosing another route may not preclude it from occurring again in the way you had envisaged. So if Denise, at 38, decides to adopt a child as a single parent, it does not automatically mean that she will never meet Mr Right, or have a biological child.

 

In summary, it is easy to postpone your life waiting for the ‘right moment’ to come along, but life is meant to be lived – hopefully to the fullest. In order to do so, requires creativity, and that we are prepared to pivot and adapt to the circumstances as they are, and not what we wish them to be.

 

 

Image:  Chau TruongThiBich (Pixabay)