In today’s fast-paced world that is filled with uncertainty, it can be easy to gravitate to options that provide comfort and security. We often end up choosing the familiar and easy path, rather than taking a chance on something new and uncertain, or the path of least resistance, as we want to avoid the unfavourable consequences that could occur.

However, continually choosing comfort, though the easier path, may not yield the results that you want. Women, in particular, are often expected to put others first, and so it can be difficult to know how to prioritise their own needs and desires – and they may even struggle with knowing what these are.

So how to break free from the cycle of choosing comfort over courage? We discuss this often-overlooked issue and offer some suggestions to get you on the path of choosing courage over comfort.

 

What does it mean to choose comfort over courage?

Essentially, choosing comfort means not facing your fears head-on or not making the difficult decisions that you know you should make. Hence you tend to avoid taking risks, or try to find the safest, but not necessarily the best course of action, in situations that feel scary or uncertain.

On the other hand, choosing courage does not mean that you are not afraid or do not appreciate the risks of a situation. In fact, you tend to be acutely aware of the risks or difficulties that could result, but you are still trying to make the best decision even though it may be outside your comfort zone.

 

Why do we choose comfort over courage?

One of the key reasons why we tend to choose comfort over courage is the fear of failure. We are afraid of not being good enough, of making mistakes or the wrong, and of falling short of our own expectations and those of others. Another important reason why we choose comfort over courage is the fear of rejection. We are afraid of being judged or our decision not being accepted by others, particularly those in our circle, such as family members, friends, colleagues, and people in our faith community.

These top two reasons can be powerful deterrents in us doing ‘the right thing’: that which you know you ought to do, but for which you are held back due to fear of failure and fear of rejection. Moreover, you can be plagued with numerous internal battles, as you know the decision you SHOULD be making, that would facilitate personal growth and new and different experiences, but instead choose safe, predictable options that may perpetuate the status quo, or be what others might want.

However, the sobering truth is that failure is a natural part of life and is crucial for growth. More importantly, there are no guarantees in life. Even when you choose comfort and think you have made a safe decision, life has a way of still sending curveballs, and so the security you thought you had may in fact just be an illusion.

 

How can we choose courage over comfort?

If you have been choosing comfort over courage for some time, it can be difficult to find the courage to act differently. We thus suggest baby steps and becoming more aware of your own internal dialogue, as you will need to understand the fears that have driven your past decisions.

First, we suggest that you set small goals. It is likely that when you examine yourself and your routine, you are likely to find some scenarios in which you have chosen the path of least resistance or security. These may not be high stakes situations, but experiencing conflict and discomfort and yet choosing a less-safe path will get you exposed to those feelings and the change in your internal messaging that will need to happen. Further, success in these situations, however small, will help you to develop the muscle and the self-reliance needed when more challenging situations must be addressed.

Following from the previous point, and understanding yourself, along with your fears, insecurities and triggers, are critical in being able to address underlying issues you may have. Take the time to focus on yourself and to do the introspection needed. We do recommend journaling, but other forms of mindfulness and self-care, such as meditation, yoga, and contemplating in nature, can also be considered. The key is spending time getting to know who you are better and your internal dialogue.

Finally, strengthen your support system. Try to surround yourself with supportive family and friends, and positive role models. People who have your best interest at heart, who can also help you stay motivated, inspired, true to yourself and even hold you accountable when needed. We all can benefit from having at least one person whom we can lean on and who remind us of the person we aspire to be.

 

Final thoughts

In summary, choosing courage over comfort is a personal journey. There is no right or wrong way to do so. But does take internal strength and faith to walk through your fear, and to trust that the choices you have made, though difficult and uncertain, are the best ones under the circumstances.

Life is uncertain, and the best you can do is to play the cards you have been dealt as best as you can. Further, life is about experiences, and having the courage to open yourself up to new experiences and opportunities can result in personal growth, with you becoming stronger, more resilient, and more confident in who you are and what you can achieve.

 

 

Image:  Dylan Hunter (Unsplash)